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The Surviving Divorce Podcast is a place for you to find hope and healing during and after separation or divorce.
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I am going through a very nasty divorce and custody battle after being with my husband for 27 years married for 11. My husband was verbally and physically abusive to me. He plays favorites with our 3 children and carried on an affair with this woman who stalked and harassed me for 6 years. My children witnessed these acts as well. Now my husband is living with this woman who is running all over town telling our mutual friends that I am signing over custody of my kids to her and him and that she is their mother. My two oldest want nothing to do with her or my husband as they have witnessed the abuse my husband inflicted on me and the harassment this woman did to me. The youngest one who is 4 years old is so confused by her. He recently stated that he only wants to spend time with his dad without her because she says mean things about mommy and she pinches him. He says he is afraid to tell his dad because he will get mad yell at him and say he is lying but he is telling the truth. My husband says he is lying and making this up. I believe my son and want to protect him from this woman as I also found out she has been involved with my youngest since the day he was born in which my husband would dump him off on her so he could go run around town while I was working to support our family. My son was subjected to being left in a soiled diaper’s for hours resulting in horrible diaper rash and left in his carrier seat screaming crying to the top of his lungs because she neglected him. This is why my son has major separation anxiety. This woman tells my 4 year old she is his mommy and loves him but at the same time bad mouths me to my child. I have stopped letting my husband see him as in mediation we both agreed she can not be alone with our children at anytime. However he did not comply with that so since I have temporary full legal and physical custody until the court hearing I have not allowed my husband to see our youngest son as the oldest two refuse to speak with him or see him. The court is forcing the middle one to have a relationship with his dad, go to counseling by himself and conjoint with his dad. He is very angry and upset about this not to mention he feels that this woman and my husband are trying to play house with his younger brother and act as if they are a happy family. I don’t know what to do as she is trying to replace me and he is allowing it. I want to protect my children from her as she is abusive and plays mind games and has admitted that she knows how to manipulate and what she calls “mind fuck” people” in to doing what she wants and getting what she wants. I have tried to file a restraining order on her but because children are involved and my husband and her share a home I have been unsuccessful. I have are youngest in counseling with a special childrens program and they agree that he needs to stay clear from her. She is not stable and thinks she is my childrens mother and has and will replace me. I am feeling like my husband replaced me with her. I have been nothing but a good mother and wife as my husband has stated your are an amazing woman, mother and wife but I just can’t do this anymore. I feel this is for the best for our children and me however I also feel my children don’t need him in their lives as he was abusive and they have been so much happier since we separated in April after going to jail for choking me. I hate this feeling of feeling like I am being replaced. I know this woman has nothing on me as she lost custody of her own children because she was an unfit mother and went to jail as she is a convicted felon. This alone should have granted me the restraining order to protect my children but it still was not enough because of the stupid fact my husband and her share a home. I just don’t know what to do and how to shake this horrible feeling.