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The Surviving Divorce Podcast is a place for you to find hope and healing during and after separation or divorce.
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heartbreaking to hear, but very true.
My husband left me for another woman 8 months ago- I am still heartbroken and think he made a big mistake. I try to see him as little as possible, as it hurts too much. My question is this-what happens when one of his parents/family members passes away? (They are coming to that age/stage) I have known these people for a long time, so would want to pay my respects and would also want to be there for our daughter. However, the woman he left me of for would inevitably be with him and be visibly comforting him. I cannot even bear to see a picture of her. How on earth would I cope with that? i couldn’t just ignore him, but I genuinely don’t think I could cope seeing her in person on her own, let alone with him.
My sister told me about the podcast just a few days ago. Over the past 2 days, I’ve listened to about 6 of them. Your messages are to the point and speak to my heart. After a 30 year marriage, I found out that my now – ex – had a porn addiction that he had hidden from me for most of our marriage. The hurt and the betrayal were devastating for me. I also suspect there were other indiscretions taking place because he was on the Ashley Madison site and other social dating sites. I have no proof of adultery but more than likely given what he was involved with, it was at least their on an emotional basis — maybe physical too.
When confronted, he didn’t think he had a problem, refused to get professional help, and even when a man at church who had overcome this addiction offered to be his mentor, he refused his help also. He just wanted things to be the way they were again. HOW could that ever happen without a willingness to change and get help!
It’s been a year and a half and the pain is still so deep. I have a tremendous support group with family, friends, and a wonderful church family. I have a deep faith and God blesses my life daily, but the hurt and betrayal remain in my heart. People ask me if I’m dating and I want to laugh at the thought. How can I ever trust again after such a betrayal?
I also found out that when my 2 boys were little (ages 7 or so), they would secretly get on the computer and follow his websites — watching the filth that their father had been watching. How do you ever forgive and get beyond that?
How do you ever get your life back after such a betrayal?
Your lessons help but they are very painful for me and bring up the hurt and loss that I still feel.
Thank you for what you are doing to help others. I will continue to listen and hopefully one day I will be in a place of total healing from this.
May God bless you as you help those of us who are dealing with this tragedy in their lives.
Hello. This podcast hit home with me. My questions as a follow up:
1. In your experience, what is the likelihood the spouse who initiated ever feel regret and/or want to return to the spouse he is leaving?
2. Is there hope for marriages in situations such as this?
3. What can the spouse who is “left” do to move on?
Further thoughts – if the husband never communicated his unhappiness, or mentioned the possibility of divorce, and if there was no constant fighting, is part of the blame on him?
Wow! Thank you, thank you, thank you so very much. I am dealing with a 6 and half year relationship that ended not too long ago. In fact I am the one who wanted out because of being shut out for weeks and nothing I did was good enough. She had been so unconcerned before and after the split, till this day, I wondered why. While I was grieving, she told me she didn’t have time to grieve. That made the hurt even worse; a relationship I had sacrificed so much for. I sensed to her, it was just another failed relationship but to me, it was almost 7 years of sacrifices lost.
Listening to this has put a lot of things into perspective. She had gone through the grieving process months before. I saw the changes she went through and actually asked her but she told me there was nothing to worry about. Now, I know the only thing that held her back was how much she needed me. The minute she felt she didn’t need me anymore, she decided to pull away by shutting me out. Thank you once again. God bless you.