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The Surviving Divorce Podcast is a place for you to find hope and healing during and after separation or divorce.
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Hi GD. Thank you for all that you do to help us. I was married for 15 years before our marriage started to deteriorate in 2012. He got volatile and violent with me and our daughters, then aged 13 and 11. I asked him to leave and he moved out two years later. I was under the impression that we were going to reconcile after 3 months. Before that time was up he confessed to a full blown affair which started 2.5 years before that and then asked for 6 months to end the affair. He admitted to loving us both. It was the most excruciating pain I’ve ever had. During those 2.5 years before the confession, he fooled me into believing we were working on the marriage but attending church retreats, counselling and a weekend for troubled marriages. It’s been almost 5 years now. I can’t divorce him because we live in another country and applied for citizenship as a family.
He is still with his mistress but wants to come back home so that he can end the affair. Apparently she threatens suicide every time he tries to end it. They don’t live together. She has a son and apparently is not stable because her husband left her for another woman.
What some times gets unbearable is all the lies and deception during those early years and I can’t understand why he was so cruel to us. I am in contact with him because our youngest daughter wants to see him on a regular basis. Older daughter has cut off from him completely. My question is, how can I this be an acrimonious split if it still hurts especially since he’s with the woman who contributed to the break up of our family. He recently accidentally sent my daughter a message which was meant for his mistress and it cause the former a great deal of pain. What can I do especially since a divorce can only be filed in 2-3 years. By the way, he doesn’t want a divorce and believes that it’s God’s plan for us to be together again. I’m so so tired of all of this
Sorry sorry for my long-winded message. Just wanted to give u the full story. God bless.